Unblog Dialogue

The setting: A three-person chat room. The players: S, a friend. Z, a friend. Me, The Main Prevaricator. The subject: Blogging, You need to.

S: You need to blog.

Me: No, I don’t.

S: You’re funny, you make incisive comments. You should blog. Z, shouldn’t he blog?

Z: Yeah, he should. He’s entertaining.

Me: I’M NOT BLOGGING.

Z: What do you call these Facebook posts, then? They look like blog posts.

Me: I’M NOT BLOGGING.

S: Who are you writing for? Who’s your audience?

Me: I’m just writing stuff for friends. Maybe they like it, maybe they don’t. But I’m not going to blog.

Z: C’mon, you know you want to.

S: Besides, you’ve got something to offer.

Me: Maybe if I could monetize it . . . eventually use it to promote my work and even start a revenue stream . . .

S: See? You’ve actually thought about it.

Me: I HAVE NOT. I’M NOT BLOGGING. STOP PUSHING ME.

S: Pushing? Who’s pushing? It’s a suggestion.

Z: Oh yeah, me, I’m pushing. Blog. You know you want to. I could even host it on my server. Maybe you could ease into it, you know, use a service like LiveJournal.

Me: No, no, no. LiveJournal’s more for fan fiction or for writer’s diaries. There’s no easy way to monetize it, you know, like run ads or something. Maybe WordPress would be a better service to use.

Z: See? You *have* been thinking about it!

Me: I AM NOT BLOGGING.

S: So, what would you call this . . . not blog thing?

Me: I AM NOT BLOGGING.

S: Oh, shut up that yelling. We’re just blue-skying shit here. What would you call it? Maybe an unblog?

Me: Well, okay, that could be the subtitle, I gue — I AM NOT BLOGGING.

S: Of course you’re not blogging. It’s an unblog, so you’d be unblogging. Now, what’s the title?

(A few suggested titles that came up in conversation, a few that didn’t.)
Lonely Bloggers
Bloggers in the Night
Diamond Mind
Diamond in the Rough
How Not to Blog
“I’m Not Blogging”

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

And it went on, and on, and on, and on in the same vein. Shit kept piling up, straining at the door. The room was fit to bust at the seams. If I didn’t do something fast, the ass-plosion woulda been heard from here to Chi-town and beyond.

Suddenly, I remembered a message I had recently sent to a friend. He had made an extravagant claim about something. My message to him read simply, “You are SUCH a prevaricator and exaggerator.”

Something clicked. From that moment, I knew this Unblog had to be named Prevarications & Exaggerations (other reasons already discussed in a recent post).

But why stick with An Unblog as the subtitle?

Because, dammit, I AM NOT BLOGGING.

I’m just writing shit down. You’ll like it, or you won’t. And everybody’s gonna have to be happy about that. (You hear me, S and Z?)

Today’s prevarication: The Tea Party is concerned about the little guy.

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About Bruce Diamond

Despicably proud old man. Text-extruding asshole (thank you, John Scalzi) with a skewed vision on life, pop culture, writing and general assholiness. Not a scholar, not a gentleman, not Martin or Lewis. But still trying to make life fun and funny.
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2 Responses to Unblog Dialogue

  1. Anonymous says:

    See? See! I toldja. Make the lie of the day a FEATURE! And just dare, just dare, to provoke any or all of us. Go ahead, tell us our lies. Just go ahead and make fun of us. I double dare ya.

    My lie of the day–Transocean execs deserve their mega bonuses for their superb safety record–only 11 killed on their watch in 2010. Yup. Excellent record.

  2. Stop being anonymous. Remember to log in when you comment. I might have to go back into Settings and require log ins. (I know who you are, I just want to be able to manage comments in the future if this Unblog thing grows any.)

    I wonder what Transocean’s excuse could be for giving the bonuses. I saw the headline and didn’t want to depress myself by reading further. It’s like the Wall Street bank bonuses that were handed out even after the economy tanked. I will never understand the way those people think.

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